I am in financial difficulties. Should I pay filial piety? How to respond to the emotional blackmail from family members

[Mom editor's note: Recently, a woman surnamed Huang posted a message in the leaked commune: I have never been able to have my mother's love since I was a child, and now I have difficulties in my economy. Should I be willing to give filial piety? Huang said that due to obesity, she has always lived alone, and she has to take care of herself, and she has to pay for her own water, electricity, rent, and living expenses. Her meager salary can only be maintained and she can't survive as long as she loses her job. Now that her mother is 51 years old, she is already 35 years old. Faced with her mother's love, she has blackmailed her filial piety fees, Huang didn't know what to do.

Since childhood, my mother has a clear tendency to favor boys and beauties, and she has never been able to feel pain. When she grew up, she invited her mother to live with her mother and work hard for life together, but she was rejected. Her mother wanted to live with her unsatisfied younger brother in her ancestral house. However, her brother's personality of smoking, drinking, fighting and doing things always took money from her mother. Later, her brother even mortgaged the house deeds of the ancestral house to the underground bank. In order to get the house back, she owed another 150,000 yuan.

Now that my younger brother is in prison, the yellow woman faces the pressure from her mother even more alone, as if she doesn't pay filial piety, she is just unfilial. If she gives her, what will happen to her life? How should we respond to the emotional blackmail of Xu Duoduo from his family?

The following netizens also responded: "I think my mother is only 50 years old and has the ability to work, so I can give her a little home use." "You can just get a fixed amount of 1-2,000 yuan per month, at least you won't sue you for your sins. Don't go back to your home that has been in blackmail. Please live for yourself in your life. If you change yourself first, you will be confident. Believe in yourself, come on!" Many suggestions and encouragement from the woman surnamed Huang. But some netizens also said, "If you have taken care of your growth, you should pay it back. If you earn more, save it yourself. Just use what you give." I believe that my mother has nurturing her, but she still needs to pay it back. 】

After the epidemic, people will start a wave of reckless consumption; after a woman has been having sex, she will suddenly eat and drink one day and eat and vomit; reckless behavior comes from some things that have not reached the basic scope and think they are tired, so they must supplement them at one time. But this "suffering" is defined by individuals.

Why will an unhappy mother conquer Yan Zisheng for three generations in the future? Because she will use the child and the son's life to supplement her.

Mom is happy and the whole family is happy. This sentence is true. Friend A's life is messed up like this. A is a woman. Her mother was the second child at home when she was a child. She was the son who was the most drowned by her great-grandmother. This also directly led to A's mother's selfish, appreciative and strong personality.

Feeling exhausted in childhood

When my great-grandmother passed away, my family was just overwhelmed. A's mother felt exhausted in her heart. She was afraid of being weak, and even more afraid that she would not be able to become the focus of her family's overall control. After

A's mother got married, she gave birth to A and a sister and a younger brother. She often complained to A about her father's indifference, saying that every penny paid by her husband was paid by her wife and her house and car were registered under her wife's name. In the future, she must find a rich person to find a husband.

I think I will always be right

When I grew up, A dated several men, and my mother always treated them as nothing, thought they were not from a family, didn’t have any school, and felt that they were simple at the other party’s family. After finally A dated a businessman who worked in real estate in his home, the mother was very satisfied and took the initiative to ask the other party for a meal.

The real estate businessman later cheated on him. When he broke up, A cried to death. The mother actually said, "I told you that he had a ghost, and you don't listen to me, so you should live." When his daughter was in trouble, the mother first did not comfort her daughter, but changed her mouth and turned her mouth to go straight, proving that she was always right.

Those who are not biased are often the most biased

In 2020, even modern people living in the 5G generation, they still have a long way to get rid of the traditional thinking of favoring men and being young. A's mother has always been the most favored by her younger brother, and she is the kind of elder who is "baby psychologically, butbaby doesn't say it". She always shouted loudly that she is very clear and will never be like the ancients. Her family only has sons and daughters. What about the results? A's mother is only 60 years old and is still in good health, but because of a sentence from her son, she secretly gave her house to her son a few days ago. The two sisters raised more children than their younger brothers, and the two sisters paid more filial piety, but they were not informed at all about the major issues of family distribution. This feeling of being completely disrespected was too hurt.

The mother who was filial and blackmailed in the name of filial piety

A retired very early and kept reminding her daughter: When she was young, she had to nourish her children and work pressure and had a lot of work pressure, so A was always in a state of turmoil at home when she was a child. Because her mother was not working smoothly, she couldn't see anything when she went home. After her childhood of quarreling for money, she was inevitably forced to be blackmailed by sympathy when she grew up.

Only at the moment when the daughter-in-law and daughter-in-law are killed, A and mother will form an alliance in a short time. A's mother would have a habitual complaint about her sister-in-law: her sister-in-law can't cook, her sister-in-law can't keep her clothes warm, and she doesn't know how to tell traditional gifts. "What if a girl reads a book to a jurist? It doesn't work if she doesn't cook the dishes!" When her sister-in-law came to her house in the New Year, her mother-in-law and sister-in-law tacitly told her, and she never gave her a good face. Her sister-in-law was not funny or talked too much, so she was named "not good at being a human being".

The next generation of anti-revolution

AA After becoming a mother, the shadow of mother began to appear on her body. Whenever the child’s decision is not as good as her own, she will use a terrifying lingo, “It’s okay, don’t regret coming back to see me in the future”, “I’m doing it for you, and you must not listen to you.. ”

A's mother used to say to her, "I started working at your age and took all the money home to her mother." Therefore, A was not allowed to leave her children too far away, and the children wanted to go to the island, but they were not allowed; the children wanted to go abroad to recite books, but it was not good; the children wanted to work outside the city; the children wanted to move out of society and wanted to move out, but A was still in a hurry and had a big trouble! It is best for a child to stay firmly by her side and calm her past injuries. This is her definition of filial piety and life.

Controlling desires will only cause a deeper feeling of fatigue

A The characteristic of being tight-knitted in everything is a kind of fear, which comes from the conflicts between mother and daughter in the previous generation. After a long period of conflict, it becomes a habit. If the child does not listen to her, she will feel that some part of her life is "less", and this feeling of fatigue will continue to the next generation like a virus. The most common mistake made by parents in the previous generation was that they did not realize that "children have their own personality". Modern parents should fully realize that "children are not your belongings."

When children are young, parents need to establish principles and effectively manage them, but as the child grows up, please try to treat him as an equal object and avoid taking the status of the parents as the "powerful person" because this identity will be a world-class person!

If a child is imprisoned to heaven or over-controlled and can only be suppressed, the child will unconsciously reveal his "reporting behavior" when he grows up. However, this reversal reversal may have to destroy the next generation to seek compensation, or to repair it in a span of time.